Inadequacy

Piercing in the dark, your eyes see inside my being and show me what I should, and could have become. But I settle for my inadequacies and seek your love. Desire upon desire, so insatiable becomes a life long dread to be without. The pearls of pain I can see inside you, taunt the thought that we will not be.

But you are not the only, sucking life out of me. Savouring and devouring every little emotion. The both of you are gloomy spectres in this razor sharp world. How much more of this can my heart hold? It seems to grow to accommodate your thirst for my blood.

- For Violet

Survival

Please let me live, is what I uttered. Where can I possibly go from here? Encapsulated in that look is a resounding feeling that this is last means of survival. Just surviving.

Sometimes that indecision is comforting, wandering in the realms of possibility. As each enchanted feeling diminishes, we lay there with your two personalities trying to silently deliberate which is the saviour.

Sculpting a piece of pure heart comes with a serpentine bite to my soul. Bitter flavours in my mouth, start to take their deadly toll. Gasping and gasping, I breath in two lungs full of your toxin, your volatile smile is as beautiful as I always dreamed. I drift away contented and not cheated of a single thing.

-For Violet

Splintered

You saved me once, and now you are the sole reason for my current despair. A great valley has come between us leaving splintered ruins of our feelings. But you remain oblivious.

Your grip tightens and still, you don't utter a word. Alarms ring through my spine and set my teeth on edge. I'm throwing all that I can at you, but you simply choose not to hear. I so thought I knew.

Hanging onto what you drape over the cliff, half to save me, half to see me suffer. Why is this necessary? You still keep chipping away at the branches of this great tree. My screams get desperate. You want me in the dark when the storms arrive. You know me better than anyone.

But you drift... Then when we are alone, you wander through my soul and everything is okay. This has its toll on you too. Those eyes. Dropping perfect tears in this valley. You call my name to not give in. But really, to not give up. I'm so alone.

-For Violet

Reason

With that incessant question that seems to flicker in my eyes, I begin my ascent to reason.

Your body so, so close to mine. And with every increment nearer, my heart rate raises. And it feels like dying. But I see the other half sneaking out in the corner of the room, and I have to wonder if this is how it is supposed to be. And her voice smooths the faults in this principle, and they separate, the figure in the room deciding the lovers fate.

So wondrous a voice, luring me closer and yet uncontrollably further away. The siren like figure makes the love drip down my lips, irreconcilably into the darkness.

-For Violet 

Elegance

The elegance of your prophecy dissipated in that evenings sun. We became smothered, indulging in each others decadence and ignoring the short falls. 

Waiting. Waiting for a move to be made. I feel the burn in my chest cavity as I become lifted up, before the court. Tentatively I grasp at my familiarities, as your smoldering judgement lays down next to me and begins to terrorise my soul. Held under, your tears penetrate my dreams, breathtaking as it is, leaves me screaming silently.

-For Violet

Isolation

I stare at all the darkness in this world. Longing for you intensifies every emotion till I reach a point of nothingness with tendrils of sorrow leaking into everyone that comes too close. 

So I isolate myself. Find comfort in the warmth of my own life. Cascading down my body, rippling on my skin, it feels so real. Feeding on different shades of joy as my own suffering becomes unbearable. The Devil rises in my throat, scratching, and trying to stake a claim on all that is left. Deathly pale, I can see a realm, a shadow of a world, that I once existed in. Resonating familiar noises of the hurricane that regularly makes its way through me. 

-For Violet

Irrevocable

I feel you in my spine. I feel your very presence in every part of my aching soul. A cosmic yearning that yields an irrevocable response. I sigh with every thought of you, which consumes all thought of  determination to not succumb to your brilliance. Some kind of historical knowledge burnt into my palms that signals I should sustain this painful state for you. Concealed within my body a ghost that seeks you out. And yet, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

-For Violet

Volition

Where my own volition is of no consequence, becoming strung out by the lovers of tomorrow.

Yet, this is your own mess, so obviously. Your eyes can see what's keeping me from being all that I should be. Eventually, we will be together. In another place or time. But I can feel it in my very being, we are each others. Even God himself doesn't know what to do with us. So with every twist in time, we grow closer. But we always knew this would happen, and here we are. The words slip off my tongue easier than I ever thought possible.

Waiting patiently to be enchanted by the world.

-For Violet

Duality

We have reached the Volta. The point where we need to pick a side. Harsh as a decision, visible in your dual coloured eyes. 

The crater of our hearts split into what will have to become a complete commitment. You turn with your blue eyes and melt down the walls that stopped me from reaching this pinnacle. And you with your golden brown eyes, staring into what could be our paradise. Such a delicacy in this decision, because neither way will be easy or right. But our existence on this planet is to prove that we can endure suffering, loss, and love.

Forcing your way into the æther, you notice on the threshold the holy warning. Yet to turn back, you accept failure in its purest form. Regret.

-For Violet

Inevitibility

The inevitability of time draws me inexorably closer to you as it also conquers my fear for all that is unspeakable, in a manner that leaves me in a crossfire of my own thoughts, coursing through my veins.

If only, the future was as clear as my love for you. I dream of a time where I can finally just relax. Where that security would be sufficient for my survival. But tensions are running fine and I find myself slipping into my old routines. Consumed by the same rituals, over and over again. Making me wonder if such existence is cyclical. 
Yet I can't shake the thought that without you, would my soul be yearning for something else? The only conclusion is yes, irrevocably so. 

Maybe the trap of words as sweet as honey is that it entrances the author as much as the recipient. Finding words to explain a feeling is one of the hardest things to assimilate into words. The absence of a feeling and a misplaced one even harder. How strange a comparison our mind makes of us. And I am honey laden. Unable to breath under the fabric of this veil. 

-For Violet